Anonymous asked:

I feel like my whole life revolves around pleasing others, at first I didnt mind but overtime it has lead me into an extremely unsatisfactory life. Im always sad, and whenever I make a mistake I fall into depression once again. I feel so trapped.

liberatingreality answered:

Indiscriminately acting on empathy will result in the self destruction you’re experiencing, especially if you’re doing so for the sake of approval from others.  Depending on who we prioritize our empathy for, will decide the burdens we take as our own, a rope we tie to ourselves.  Prioritizing those who don’t match you in your will and awareness is akin to lying down in a pool of piranha.  Maintain time for efficient self sustenance lest you degenerate in obligations to others.  We cannot empower others if we do not first empower ourselves.

Ninety percent of the world’s woe comes from people not knowing themselves, their abilities, their frailties, and even their real virtues. Most of us go almost all the way through life as complete strangers to ourselves.
Sydney J Harris (via itsquoted)
I’m beginning to believe in the immortality of the soul, not on any religious grounds at all, but simply because it seems quite clear as you get older that the soul and the body start drifting apart. And I suddenly had a vision of going to a counter, which might be described as a Hertz–Rent–a–Body counter, and asking the girl, ‘Excuse me, do you have anything with a slightly more powerful engine? Ooh, and with a sliding roof, I’d really like that!’ and she says, ‘No, I’m afraid we’re all out. Either take what we’ve given you or that’s it.’ ‘Oh, I’ll take it, I’ll take it.’ So you’re stuck with a body which you may not necessarily feel entirely in concert with. You live with this body throughout your whole life, accommodating it, and of course adapting to it, and then it begins to creak and you hear noises from the back axle, and towards the end you begin to think, ‘My God, I hope I’ll have the strength to bring this body back to the counter with dignity and not have to leave it out in the countryside with a red triangle behind it.’ It’s for that reason I say we’re prisoners in our own shells and the main thing is to furnish them properly.
Peter Ustinov (via itsquoted)
If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savour) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.
E B White (via itsquoted)

Civilized people must, I believe, satisfy the following criteria:

1. They respect human beings as individual and are therefore always tolerant, gentle, courteous and amenable…

2. They have compassion for other people besides beggars ad cats. Their hearts suffer the pain of what is hidden to the naked eye…

3.They respect other people’s property, and therefore pay their debts.

4.They are not devious, and they fear lies as they fear fire. They don’t tell lies even in the most trivial matters. … Civilized people don’t put on airs; they behave in the street as they would do at home, they don’t show off to impress their juniors…They are discreet and don’t broadcast unsolicited confidences…They mostly keep silence, from respect for others’ ears.

5.They don’t run themselves down in order to provoke the sympathy of others.

6.They are not vain.

7.If they do possess talent, they value it. They will sacrifice people of mind, women, wine, and the bustle and vanity of the world for it.

8.They work at developing their aesthetic sensibility.”

Anton Chekhov, Letter to Nikolay Chekhov, March 1886

  • Also part of Selected Letters

(via wordsnquotes)

Anonymous asked:

Is it possible for someone to be in "love" and in a relationship with someone merely because they have been accustomed to that person and not necessarily because they truly "love" that individual? (that being me) Is it that possible that the individual is simply with the other person (me) because she's scared of being alone?

liberatingreality answered:

Possible?  It is incredibly common, and I caution your use of the word “love” in general for it’s vagueness and the myriad of conflicting personal definitions people have for it.  This dynamic you’re describing will take place when individuals sacrifice their genuine desires to maintain the security of having a mate. This leads to parasitic relationships based on denial that are perpetually unfulfilling, each partner conditioning the other into viewing their union as a kind of sanctified prison.  Each one desiring escape, but not at the expense of the security of their cell.

If they don’t reply to your texts — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t call you — they’re not interested in you.

If they forget your birthday — they’re not interested in you.

If they’re hung up on their ex — they’re not interested in you.

If they’re obsessed with being single — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t want to meet your friends — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t want you to meet their friends — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t ask questions about your life — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t tell you things about their life — they’re not interested in you.

If they only speak to you when they want to have sex with you — they’re not interested in you.

If they only have sex with you when they’re drunk — they’re not interested in you.

If they say “should we just keep this between us?’ after you have sex with them — they’re not interested in you.

If they don’t have sex with you — they’re not interested in you.

If they can always find a psychobabble rationale about who “I am” or “you are” or “we are” as reason why you can’t be together — they’re not interested in you.

If they have said for more than six months that they would like to be with you “BUT” — they’re not interested in you.

And if you still need convincing — think of it this way. Think of what the real day-to-day of life is taken up by. Life is birthday parties at terrible pubs. Life is losing your credit card and the annual Melbourne Cup sweepstake in the office. Life is hen’s nights, bucks’ nights, sitting on the phone for three hours to get U2 tickets and not getting them, the apartment upstairs flooding your house, interval training, calorie counting, cancer scares, illegal mini cabs, Secret Santa, rail replacement buses and Dido albums. Dogs die, cars crash, bin liners break, contracts end, curtain rails collapse, trains get delayed, football teams lose. Divorce happens and so do earthquakes and so does An Audience With Michael Bublé. Landlords put rent up, phones get stolen and the supermarket often completely runs out of hummus.

Now, taking all of the above into account — you look me dead in the eye and tell me the truth. Do you really have enough spare energy to pursue someone who isn’t interested in you? Do you really want to waste any more time on top of all of that? No. Me neither. So give it up, my friend. It’s a loser’s game. Delete their number. Don’t go on any more dates with them. Stop lurking their Facebook page. Feels good, doesn’t it?

Dolly Alderton (via gaslightgoodbye)

(via georgesscreeningroom)